Many students, especially the women I’ve worked with, clearly meet a lot of a role’s requirements but don’t dare apply because the company’s name is too big. Some turn to small companies only, assuming the bar must be lower, but a small team may expect you to hit the ground running, without much formal training.
I once said that “probably eight out of ten women job seekers are held back by not daring to ask for what they want.” That was a strong impression from the people I’ve worked with. Every time I see someone rule out an opportunity before trying, I think it’s a real shame. Before the company has even judged her, she’s already rejected herself on its behalf.
This is where believing you deserve a shot makes a difference in a job search. Learn the actual requirements, then give yourself a chance to be considered. Wherever you’re lacking, prepare for it specifically. You don’t have to wait until you’re sure you’re stronger than every other candidate before you let yourself apply.
But believing you deserve a shot has to be backed by action. One student told me she really loved consulting. When I asked whether she’d done a case or two, or looked into what consultants do day to day, the answer was no. That kind of love is still only imagined. You need to try something real first, to know whether it suits you and to have something to show employers.
What I’d rather see is someone who sets a goal she wants to go for, starts preparing, gets real feedback, and then adjusts her expectations and direction. Don’t decide from the start that you can’t do it, and don’t treat “I want it” as a reason the company should hire you.
How Much Practice Is Enough
If a computer science student can’t solve coding problems, she usually knows she needs to practice. But when it comes to talking about their experience, many people just write an answer, read it over a few times, and think they’re prepared.
Writing it down and saying it out loud are very different. You need to actually speak, go back and fill in whatever made you stumble, and say it again. I used to describe the level of fluency as “practice until it comes out as naturally as saying one plus one is two,” and I’ve also compared it to TOEFL speaking scores. The point is being able to explain your own experience naturally, not setting one cutoff score for interviews.
After you send your applications each day, set aside fifteen to thirty minutes just for practice. You can work on a single question at a time, but have a specific goal: today, shorten the background; tomorrow, make your own actions clear; the day after, have someone ask you follow-up questions.
Keep the structure simple to start: one sentence for the background and the problem, then two or three key actions in order, then the result. Use “first,” “second,” and “then” outright if you need to. When your English isn’t fully fluent yet, a clear order especially helps people follow you.
Spoken English itself can be improved, but you can’t expect to completely change your language habits in a short time. Start with the parts you can control: use words you know well, make clear who did what, spell out the sequence and the reasons, and don’t reach for complicated phrasing on the spot.
The Two-Language Retelling Test: Find Where the Content Gets Lost
Find a friend who doesn’t know the details of your internship or project. Have her listen to you tell it in English first, then tell the same story in your first language, and let her ask a few follow-up questions. Then ask her: did she hear the same story both times? What was missing from the English version, and what wasn’t clear?
I had a student who did macro research. Looking at her English resume, she felt she couldn’t talk about it. But when she switched to Chinese, she explained it quickly and clearly: the market had expected a recovery, services consumption hadn’t recovered as expected, so there was a gap between expectations and reality, and downside risk needed to be considered.
I immediately had her say that same thing in English. Her logic was fine; the judgment was already clear in Chinese. What she needed to do next was make her English carry the same content.
The test can also reveal the other situation: you can’t explain it clearly in either language. In that case, go back and sort out the facts and fill in your understanding of the project first. Don’t just memorize an English answer someone else wrote for you.
| What happens in practice | What to adjust first |
|---|---|
| Clear in your first language, noticeably thinner in English | Keep the logical order from your first-language version, retell it in English you’re comfortable with, and check sentence by sentence for lost meaning |
| Unclear in both languages | Write out what happened first, confirm what you were responsible for and why you did it that way, then organize your answer |
| You can recite it perfectly but freeze at follow-up questions | List the basis for your key judgments, the alternatives you considered, and the details, and practice picking up your explanation after being interrupted |
| Your answers are complete but often miss the question | Restate the key points of the question first, then pick your example, and practice shifting emphasis for different phrasings |
| You know the content but get nervous in front of people | Start with recording yourself and practicing in front of a mirror, then move gradually to questions from friends and mock interviews, to get more practice with real exchanges |
The Mirror Exercise: Get Used to Affirming Yourself
There’s one more method I recommend myself, even though it sounds a little cringey: every day, smile at yourself in the mirror and say, “I will find a good job in the US,” “I am qualified,” “I can do this.”
Feeling awkward the first time is normal. What I want students to practice is not starting from their shortcomings and failures every time they think about themselves. Once you can say these things fairly naturally, it’s also easier to back yourself up a bit when you’re applying and interviewing.
But it has to go together with the preparation above. After affirming yourself, you still need to apply, practice, check requirements, and adjust based on feedback. Confidence usually settles in because you start to know what you’re good at and what still needs work, and because you’ve seen real progress.
In an interview, being at ease, clear, and open to conversation makes it easier for the other person to get to know you. Some people naturally smile a lot and joke around, and that can be a strength. If that’s not you, don’t force it. Expressing who you really are more clearly is already valuable.
There are a lot of methods in this chapter. Pick the one problem that’s affecting you most right now and start there; that’s enough. What you need is to adjust as you go. You don’t have to wait until your resume, technical skills, English, and mindset are all perfect before you start your job search.